Thursday, October 1, 2009

Gaborik: "This Team needs a Skating Kitty" - How our boys did on Letterman

Okay - what we do here is in depth Ranger Analysis - so here's our take on last night's Ranger action - reading Dave Letterman's top ten list:

10 - Donald Brashear said: "Instead of fighting, why don't we work things out over Brunch". Including Brashear in the group of ten is clearly a move to get him past the bad feeling that Ranger fans have ever since Brashear decided to break Blair Bett's face in a playoff game last year. They put him up first so the the initial cheer when the Ranger's came out would hopefully cover any scattered boos. Listening to the studio audience - I didn't hear any booing in the house - but the CBS studio is not the Garden.

9 - Dan Giradi: "Between you and me, I have no idea what the hell Icing is". Not the best line reading, Dan, but you hit you mark and said the words correctly. And by the way, Dan, Icing is that stuff on top of cakes.

8 - Marian Gaborik: "What this team needs is a Skating Kitty". Okay, even though English isn't his first language, Marian get through it just fine. And, thank goodness, no injuries.
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7 - Brandon Dubinsky: "I really wish these fans would watch their language". Except he said "wash" instead of "watch". Dubi is clearly showing the lack of training camp time after his hold out. If he'd been in camp since day 1 - he would have nailed this one.

6 - Chris Drury: "High scorer gets to pick which Barbara Streisand CD we listen to on the bus". It's just nice to hear Drury speaking - he's been really quiet with the New York press lately - which is not like him. I'm just glad he can still talk.

5 - Marc Staal: "Forget all the goals and the awards, Gordie Howe has one nice looking butt". Staal read this one just fine - but didn't read it with any real feeling - which, given the subject matter, is probably for the best.

4 - Chris Higgins: "For good luck, I lick the puck". We're counting on our US born players who speak English as a first language to really nail these - and Higgins stepped up and scored. Good job Chris!

3 - Ryan Callahan: "My real dream is to work at an insurance company". Ugh. Ryan, that was a pretty bad reading. He stops twice in the middle: "My real dream is ........ to work at .............. an Insurance company". The key to comedy is timing, Ryan. It almost sounds like he's making one of those coerced hostage tapes....

2 - Henrik Lundqvist: "Who can concentrate on Hockey when Jennifer Aniston still hasn't found love" Even though Hank is not completely comfortable speaking English in front of a live audience - and he was given a long complicated sentence - I'm not 100% sure how to say "Aniston" myself - he stands on his head and comes up huge! King Henrik!

1 - Sean Avery: "I wish Letterman was on at ten". They saved Sean for last because they felt he was the most famous - particularly to non-hockey fans. I guess that's the right move. Also because he speaks publicly the most of any Ranger - he's been on talk shows - and he was someone they felt they could count on. And Sean delivers - he nails the reading. He's always got more of a smirk than a smile - but he does just fine.

The audience cheers again and Letterman comes down the line shaking hands with each player - as if a playoff series has just ended. Now, I'm waiting for Sean's turn, because I remember what happened when he shook hands with Jimmy Fallon on Jimmy's show. What Sean did back then was fake like he was throwing a punch at Fallon - freaking the poor guy out completely and sending him into an emotional tailspin from which I don't think Jimmy has ever fully recovered.

So I'm wondering if Sean will try the same stunt with Letterman. And it looks to me like he's thinking about it - but he's actually holding one hand with the other in front of him to keep his impulses in check. The moment of truth arrives - and no - he just shakes hands. Good move, Seanny - Dave deserves respect and you handled it just right. Another Ranger crisis averted.

Earlier - the ten Rangers carried Madonna into the studio - they put their sticks across their shoulders - sort of like pall bearers - and she sat on those. Madonna later told Dave that the sticks "pinched" her - though I wonder if Avery did any unauthorized pinching of his own.

Here's Letterman's site if you want to see it the Top Ten yourself. And the whole night is recapped quite well on CBS's site by the one and only Mike McIntee on the Wahoo Gazette - in a post that mentions this blog!

All in all - a few rough spots - but in then end a clutch performance by your favorite Hockey team. Let's Go Rangers!

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