Tuesday, April 13, 2010

How The Game Should Have Ended

Permit me a little revisionist history:

"This is Sam Rosen with Joe Micheletti and New York Ranger hockey.

It all comes down to this, Ranger fans. The Rangers and Flyers are in the shootout. Game 82. A Ranger win puts them in the playoffs and a loss ends their season.

Moments ago P. A. Parenteau scored to tie the shootout at 1 all. The Ranger rookie is an amazing 3-3 in the shootout this year. He's never missed. But the Flyers have scored again on an exhausted Henrik Lundqvist and the Rangers trail 2-1.

So it all comes down to this final shoot out attempt. The Rangers need a goal here to extend their season.

There's a commotion on the Ranger bench. What happening, Joe?"

"Sam, someone has jumped onto the ice. It's a guy in street clothes"

"Wait a minute Joe - that's a designer suit. It’s Sean Avery on the ice in dress shoes. I can't believe it. Avery runs over to Boucher - he's shouting something at the Flyers' goaltender. I can't make out what he's saying Joe"

"Sam, I think I heard it. And I think it's the most vile ugly statement I've ever heard one human being say to another. Sam, I think I need a moment to compose myself after hearing that"

"Joe, whatever he said to Boucher - it's working. The Flyer goalie has taken his helmit off. He's sitting down on the ice. And now Boucher.... What's he doing?"

"He's crying Sam. He's burst into tears. This is hard to watch"

"Avery has left the ice now and the referees have restored order. Boucher is slowly moving back to the net.

And here come the Ranger shooter. It's ... It's - well the jersey says Jokinen. But it looks 3 sizes too big. Is that really Olli Jokinen?"

"Sam, look. It's P.A. Parenteau again! They painted the Jokinen mustache on him and swapped jerseys"

"Here he comes - Jokinen - or is it Parenteau - advances on Boucher. He dekes him. Boucher slips and falls. Parenteau shoots....

HE SCORES – the shootout is tied at 2. And the Rangers play on!

Now its the Flyer's turn. The skater advances on Henrik Lundqvist. Here’s the shot. Glove save Lundqvist! Henrik Lundqvist with a great save high on the glove side.

And now the Rangers have a chance to win. John Tortorella sends out.... Marian Gaborik - the Rangers leading scorer.

Gaborik takes the puck - he skates in on Boucher. He shoots. HE SCORES


(oh well, it sure would have been nice)

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